You know the type. The ones who always seem to have ‘bad’ stuff happening to them. Everyone knows someone who fits the mould. A conversation with them will reveal that they are currently recovering from their 3rd bout of flu this week, undergoing their 4th ligament replacement in as many years and dealing with the break up of their 5th glaringly obviously flawed relationship.
More often than not they can be found telling you how lucky you are, that your life is so much better than theirs, and if it wasn’t for their wife/kids/mortgage/job/dog they’d be doing exactly what you’re doing. It’s exhausting having to listen to it, let alone what it must be like actually being one of them. These are the people that drive me potty. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you – the victims.
Don’t get me wrong, I have feelings and am most certainly capable of distributing large doses of sympathy and empathy. In fact I can do compassion in tsunami-esque proportions if I think it appropriate but when it comes to the victims, I don’t just struggle to give it out, I point blank refuse. The difference between the victims and those who need and deserve support and encouragement is that the former just want their ‘life is shit’ attitude validated. The latter refuse to see it that way and battle onwards regardless of what hand they’re being dealt. Essentially it’s the old glass half full analogy – how you choose to see your life is how your life actually is.
You see the thing is that if you decide that you’re going to focus on the obstacles and difficulties in your life, the chances are that you’re going to attract yet more of these into your world. Its not exactly complicated stuff, anyone who has been mountain biking, skiing etc has been taught these same lessons from day one in their sport. If you choose to concentrate on the giant rock in your path or the cliff edge that runs alongside your track, it is extremely likely that you will find yourself magnetically drawn towards it and consequently, on your arse.
The very fact of giving a problem your energy or attention somehow gives it power. Instead if you acknowledge its presence, decide how you’re going to avoid it and keep your eyes unswervingly focused on the direction that you want to travel, you have every chance of a fast, smooth and awesome ride. It’s really up to you.
In this world there is very little that we can actually do about what happens to us. If someone wants to break your heart, fire you, run you over or steal your dog then there is very little that you can do about it. These are the external forces and they are not for us to control. Trying to do so will only result in a forcing of the natural tide of life and can transform your time on this planet into something resembling a shit fight.
What we can do and where we can play a part is how we look at events in our life and with the right head on, everything is possible. The key to it all is perspective. Perspective has movement and momentum. Resignation and the victim mentality are static, powerless and conjure up images of sitting on your bum in sludge.
With the right outlook, anything that confronts us can be viewed as a learning experience and if we learn, we grow. If we grow, we expand and if we expand, there is room for more good stuff to come in. And herein lies the genius of the whole thing. By simply adopting a positive, curious attitude to life one can create space which will then only fill up with yet more intriguing shiny stuff. The victims of course do the opposite and as a result continue to attract grey, miserable drizzle into their time on this planet. And yet another tickly throat.
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